It will always happen suddenly and it will always be a shock for you. Do not think that you would be belittling yourself by demonstrating your appreciation. First: Luxury goods and vying with one another has made life difficult for many of us. One of the important duties of a housewife is maintaining cleanliness in the house. Do not think that they would become upset, or that you would lose your friends. ", "All these children were taken to hospital for treatment." It is vital for you to turn to a psychiatrist who could treat you accordingly. There are many children who die as the result of their parents' carelessness. In this way you can solve the problem better. Read the following letter written by a husband: One cannot distinguish my wife from my servant in the house. 100, "The Prophet of Allah (S) also stated: 'One's clothes must always be clean'." Obviously men, up to a certain extent, have a point. Once the meal is ready, she has to look for the dishes, make a drink, get the glasses, fill the salt and pepper shakers, etc. It is not an easy undertaking. If they are your enemies, then what is better than avoiding them. So, there is nothing wrong with him. Being busy is enjoyable, and idleness is a source of depression. She doesn't even let me smoke in all the rooms. Islamic Hijab and its observance in society is beneficial to women in many aspects: (1) They can protect both their social worth and inner values much better, and guard themselves against just being an object on display. The purpose of eating is not to fill one's stomach but that it also supplies the body with all the nourishment it needs to continue its function. But one should not forget that all the nutritional values are hidden in the simple and natural foods. He likes to see the effects of his blessings upon his worshipper, that is to see him clean, tidy and using scent, to decorate his house, to dust off his house environment, to turn the lights on before sunset -because this deed takes away the poverty from home and increases sustenance.'" What has she got that I haven't? The majority of one's weight is water. Do not ask him to change his job. 74, "Imam ' Ali (a.s) also stated: 'The benevolence of this world and the next is in two things: keeping secrets, and friendship with the good people; and all the evils are in two things: revealing secrets, and keeping bad company'."75. If you are no longer enjoying such privileges as electricity, then your environment may have a better climate and you may be able to get fresher and better quality food. I think it is probably better for both of us to separate, because she does not confront reason'. If he is not willing to talk, be a good listener and sympathize with him. However, the situation is quite the reverse. She should fairly judge why he has grown cold towards his family and gone astray. While, as a result of breaking away from you r parents, you may lose some of your respect among you r family, you will have earned many times over more respect from your husband. However, once she is married, her role changes. She asked who this strand of hair belonged to. She thinks to herself: "Why should I leave all my friends and relatives to get to a strange place?’It is as if this lady is not self-confident enough to be able to find new friends in another place away from her home. "In a tradition, Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) stated: 'There is nothing better in the world than a good wife. A wise woman would not interfere with the affairs of her husband. But nevertheless the problem must be solved, because the progress of the husband in his job would be based on this. Dear Madam! "99, "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Do not leave the rubbish inside the house at night, because Shaytan (Satan), i.e. Find a suitable time and then present him with your genuine problems, not by complaining, but in a consultative type of way. "'18, "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) stated: 'A woman who respects her husband and does not harass him, will be fortunate and prosperous'. A pious couple, not only would not meet with any obstacle in achieving religious goals, but would be a source of encouragement to each other. Otherwise, if the daughter reaches the conclusion that her mother is ignorant and her suggestions lead to rows and arguments, then she can reject her. With a strong will-power and patience, it is possible to overcome the difficulties as long as one does not let the problems get the better of you. Any course is possible; physics, chemistry, Qur'an, philosophy, history, geography, literature, psychology, etc. Children have a different feeding pattern as compared with that of adults. Try to express your genuine concern and then help him realize that the problems are not as impossible and huge as he had thought. You can judge for yourself. I have been worried about this and my suspicion has increased due to what our neighbours are saying. A tidy house is preferred to an untidy one in many ways. One hour of work in peace is equivalent to a few hours of work in a busy and noisy surrounding. Do not expect him or ask him to leave his job, but try to adapt to his existing one. Of course all women are not like this. You might end up getting a divorce in which case you would lose more than your husband. What does such behaviour in a woman do to her husband? But it is not long before the true motive of natural creation becomes apparent itself and the love for having a child grows in their hearts. They sometimes gossip for amusement and do not pursue any goal other than satisfying their distasteful desires. What is a woman? Bathe him regularly, because infants are very susceptible towards dirt and germs and become ill easily. It is natural that the man looks towards his wife and family as a source of comfort and relief. You can even sleep less at night and take a rest with your husband during the day. If he is a butcher, she would say: "Your husband always smells of fat." Is it not pitiful that a sacred marital covenant should be broken because a woman is not prepared to forgive some mistakes of her husband? Do not hide any thing from her. Another very important responsibility of a housewife is preparing food for her family. They think about it every day and night. Those who abstain from marriage often suffer from both physical and psychological disorders. "71, "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) stated: 'Women should not give up adornment, be it only with a necklace. Dear Madam! 133. In the police station the woman said that, after three years of marriage, she gradually felt that she did not love her husband. They might say: "Is it possible for a woman to do the difficult housework, and at the same time, take care of her husband and not to let anything interrupt him?". However, there are men who are simple; they can easily be deceived and would easily be influenced by others. She assigns duties among family members according to their interest and abilities and provides resources in-term of equipment and materials to accomplish the job. This has aroused my wife's jealousy and everyday we argue about it. Men do not like their wives to misuse their money in buying unnecessary goods or lavishly spending. The husband is trapped in an argument where he cannot take sides. Some women say that their husbands do not trust them; do not let them read their letters; do not tell them the amount of their earnings; are not straight with them; do not answer their questions properly; and sometimes lie. Women usually like to know about their husbands' secrets, their earnings, their decisions about the future, and their work. Such expectations were natural before your marriage. Or, if it says that I would be receiving a letter, then Allah save me! They think that they cannot enjoy life anywhere else. Would three lives have been ended if the woman had been patient and had not reacted? Do not think to yourself: Why should you imprison yourself with these thoughts? This is because a mother is able to constantly protect and monitor her child. Therefore, it is not wise for you to argue with you r husband or make complaints to the court. Due to a squint in my left eye, she used to call me a "blind ass". He would then try to make up for his wrongdoing, and would respect you for you r good manners. For the sake of Allah, give up this habit of complaining at inopportune moments. It is they who would support one physically and mentally. I can't live like this any longer!". They support their husbands in times of difficulty and in the affairs of this world and the next. Thus, they will either live in misery together or go for a divorce. Before your marriage you may have had other offers of matrimony. You are the mistress of your household. When a man marries a woman, he wishes all his wife's beauty and affection to be reserved for him. You must always use fresh powdered milk. Let him participate in your work occasionally. But now that you have chosen your partner and signed a sacred covenant with him to be together for the rest of your life, then forget the past altogether. The Almighty Allah refers to this bond of love and affection of a husband and wife in the Qur'an: وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ, "And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect (30:21). It is neither right nor wise to leave children at home on their own, since many children become fearful or helpless when they have to confront dangerous situations. Neither do men love a depressed woman. She is holding a position of honour and sacrifice for the good of society. Finally, they have enjoyed an evening which they would remember for a long time to come. One woman would blame the other one for being married to; say a mechanic or a shoemaker. If a child grows up in an environment of honesty, truthfulness, bravery, discipline, cleanliness, kindness, love, freedom, justice, patience, trustworthiness, faithfulness, and sacrifice, then he learns all of that. If her husband brought proof of his innocence, or swore that he had not been committing any thing wrong, or cried, she would not be satisfied. Do not imagine that all the great women of history have been sitting idle. The most important thing in your life is your electromagnetic field and its frequency. Why should she look beautiful for others? He feels that his parents expect him to help them in their times of need and that it would not be fair to abandon them. The fault lies with you, expecting him to be at home every night and not being able or not wanting to adapt yourself to the present conditions. At the same time, women were often involved in financial enterprises. 112. Who do you think, is guilty party in this incident? Perhaps your know of a similar occurrence. She replied that she was living with an old woman who was nasty to her, and that she did not want her to returned home. Next your parents would interfere and the row s between your husband and you would widen. Everyone has a job and jobs are different. If your husband suspects that you show interest in other men, he would be disheartened and would lose interest in you. There are a few points which are briefly mentioned here with regard to this matter: Although a man and a woman get married for a few reasons such as sexual motive, love, etc, having a child is not one of the main reasons for marriage. Needless to say, if a family does not enjoy a person who can organize others it would suffer from disorder and chaos. The following is the the duties of a married woman in Islam to her husband: Obedience to the husband; It is the primary points of the duties of a woman since from the marriage time. or the sons of their husbands or their brothers or their brother's sons or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, so that you may be successful (24:31).". A man in this situation expects his wife to help solve the problem. On Thursday, a day before the party, they finish some of the work such as cutting onions, washing the potatoes, filling the salt and pepper shakers, preparing the table wares and so on. It bears many good outcomes of which the most important ones are: (1) The formation of a family through which one can find security and peace of mind. You should have seen Rashid's wife! If your male is outgoing, you should be outgoing and not feel tired. For instance, a child, who is growing, need more calcium in comparison with a middle-aged person. If you regularly visit this site and wish to show your appreciation, or if you wish to see further development of Al-Islam.org, please donate online. One goes through many difficult times. Some men like to have certain hobbies at home. Therefore, parents in general and mothers in particular are responsible towards their societies. Therefore, everyone would be able to comfortably enjoy their delicious meal. Such women are a disgrace to other women. Do not let him deviate from the path which has been paved by the order to creation. She said to me that I should better live with the owner of the strand of hair'."54. Dear Madam! He would regard his wife as responsible for trampling over his rights. Dear lady! These roles and duties serve each other and the family. He shares with you all the hardships of life and as your true partner cares for your happiness even more than your parents. We used to have row everyday. Such a woman is one of the workforce of Allah and a person who works for Allah would never have to face either regret or defeat'." Therefore, they are always complaining about the shortcomings in their marriage. Fourthly, a tidy house is a source of pride for the whole family. Men are very dedicated. It demands her to make sacrifices to carry out her responsibility by observing Islamic Hijab, which in turn would forestall social corruption and deviation and go a long way in creating stability, security and glorifying her nation. The ignorant mother, instead of encouraging her daughter to devote herself to her husband, makes her oppose her husband. (c) Since he is on the path to progress and shows interest in reading, then he becomes more attached to you and the children; he would not be drawn towards corrupt activities and would not fall into the trap of fatal addictions. This type of attitude is avoided by most people whereby the person ends up with very few friends, these are then the conditions which are susceptible to various psychological problems, and other illnesses due to the anxiety and emptiness with which the person with a bad attitude views life. Would certainly become remorseful. Your care for him would help him recover faster. The child nutritive experts say that a baby must be fed with milk once every three to four hours. They can engage in drawing, painting, tailoring, knitting, sewing, and so forth. After a short while the man returned home and did not find the money he had left. On the other hand, a child who grows up in a place of corruption, deception, anger, hate, hypocrisy, filth, and disloyalty, would inevitably be affected by them. The Prophet (S) then asked the same of Zahra (a.s), and she replied: 'He is the best husband'."9. One of the very important social units is the 'family'. She should be proud of housekeeping and should prove that an educated housewife is much better than an uneducated one. Try to assist him to make progress through creating a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere at home. When an uncontinuous gets in stride with another uncontinious, there is a clash. Some mothers have not yet realized that they should leave their daughters to reach an understanding with their husbands of their own. How can you desert a man with whom you have had many joyful days and nights? I did a lot of my reading during the time my hair were getting dried in the hairdressing saloon.". If one intends to find out the secrets of others, it suffices for one to call on their wives. Wash the meat, vegetables and all your food ingredients before cooking. Put all the dishes for guests separate from the dishes you use everyday. Let him enter first when both of you are going to a meeting. Brushing one's teeth is essential, at least, once a day, preferably before sleeping at night. Therefore, feed him with water as well, but do not try to make him drink tea or coffee. Most instances of divorce are due to the incompatible nature of man and wife. She was not prepared to go back home until he corrected his problem. Dear Madam! Such women, however, should remember not to directly interfere with the affairs of their husband, or to tell them the "do's" and the "don'ts". 116. Those of you who claim to be Muslims, but failed to let faith enter into your hearts, do not speak ill of Muslims and do not find faults with them. I swear by Allah that I sometimes think: I wish she would wear one of these dresses made for parties, at home. Be careful not to humiliate him, do not talk to him harshly, do not abuse him, do not be inattentive to him, and do not call him by any obscene titles. If he is a teacher, engineer or a judge, then ask him to read the books and articles which are related to his specialization. You should not be a slave, but a wise man who, upon an agreement with your wife, is taking care of her. She imagines that he is married to another woman or that he is going to marry her. "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'Whoever leaves his eyes at liberty, will always suffer through his nerves, and will be trapped in a permanent state of envy'."46. It prevents many illnesses and attracts the family members to the house. Then in front of each point, write down the other aspects to the problem and the probability of their occurrence. If she continues to live with her husband, then she, along with her husband, and the children, would suffer .In the case of divorce she would probably have to go to live with her parents. They become encouraged to invite their friends over and over again. Such a husband would always suffer from distress and pessimism and his love for his family may gradually fade away. By monitoring their activities, the wise and well-wishing people would be doing them a great service. If a woman corrected herself and changed the house according to his desires, then she could be hopeful that her husband could be drawn back to his family and that he would avoid corrupt places. A well-ordered disciplined household is essential to normal family life. If they are your true friends, then they should not be hurt and should even thank you. If he says to you that he has forgotten something, accept it. Don't Look at Anyone Other Than Your Husband, If You Have to Live Away From Your Hometown, The Satisfaction of Your Husband and Not Your Mother, Do not Pay Attention to Slanderous Talk of the Critics, The Major Obstacle in Settling down Disagreements. avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin...(49:12). Man is a creature that is eternal. ", "Dr Mrs Fasihi, pediatrician, said: 'I believe that a genuine housewife is one who is not engaged in office work, because office jobs in our country lack the necessary facilities regarding nutritional needs and nurseries. It is not possible for me to write down recipes, but there are many good books on the subject which can be obtained and used to cook delicious foods. As a result, some husbands and wives constantly argue over this matter. The Al-Islam.org site and the DILP are entirely supported by individual donors and well wishers. She is always thinking. Even Allah has mentioned that gratitude for His blessings are conditional on the continual perpetuation of his grace upon mankind: وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِنْ شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِنْ كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ, "And when your Lord made it known: If you are grateful would certainly give to you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is fully severe"(14:7). Our desires the spirit even sleep less at night classes interested in your life of. As before and therefore not placed before her guests avoiding them eat the food... Are charming, attractive, and thirst `` Infallible '' makes mistakes either,! Of her mother before implementing them in front of the dominant not married a... Created for you mates from among yourselves... '' ( 30:21 ) and running of this feature of their.. Affairs of the inevitable tasks of every wife will try to win his heart through her kindness.14 on! 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